Self psych! My secret to happiness.

One of the things I do to keep myself sane (I use that term loosely, of course), especially during stressful times, is talk to myself. Out loud, usually in the car. But not just talking to myself really. I imagine I'm at a shrink's office and I'm telling them everything. Then I imagine what that person, an outsider and a logical thinker with no emotional ties, might feel about what I said. Of course it's not a real Dr's mind I'm using, it's my way of giving my logical brain and my emotional brain separate bodies so they can brainstorm and logical brain gets to be the Dr. As dumb as it sounds, it is immensely effective.

You might think "Well, I have those kinds of conversations in my head, too. Everyone does." but I don't mean in your head. You have to actually SAY it out loud. Logical brain can be in your head but emotional brain must talk out loud because emotional brain is usually the one with the irrational thoughts. When you say your emotional thoughts out loud and are forced to find words to describe them, you not only get a better grasp of what you're feeling, you can also hear how stupid these thoughts are sometimes :)

My preferred place to do this is in the car. I commute about 1.5-2hrs a day and I drive to IL (2.5-3hrs) on many weekends so I have plenty of time to talk to myself (and I often use the whole time) but wherever you can go and be alone is fine.

I can't express here exactly how well this works once you really get the hang of it. At first it seems so silly and you feel downright psycho but after a few "sessions" you start feeling better. After that you start getting good ideas and making discoveries. Your logical brain and emotional brain start to work together instead of one insisting on taking the spotlight. After a while you start to deal with emotional situations much more efficiently and effectively.

Unfortunately, it does not always alleviate the pain. I wish it did. It helps to manage it but nothing can make the pain go away sometimes and really, you have to feel it so you can fully understand it and how it affects your life. Sometimes when you try to prevent yourself from feeling hurt or abandoned or cheated or you pretend you don't hurt when you do, it robs you of seeing where that pain affects your life. It can affect how you relate to people, how you feel about yourself, the things you say, the things you do...and you don't even know it sometimes.

My little crazy method may not work for you, but it has changed my life and I wanted to share it in case it changes yours.