Monday, September 27, 2010

I feel fine...

Actually I feel more than fine :) Autumn always gives me this giddy energy that I can't recreate no matter how I try. It's the kind of inspiring feeling that makes me nostalgic and I'd guess that's probably because the changing leaves, crisp air, Halloween on the horizon and beautiful storm clouds always just a breath away were what I missed the most about home when I went to college and what I think of when I remember home.

I'm not really home...yet...but it reminds me of how close I am. Close enough to smell it. I go through my life and I realize how much I've done in the last 11 years. I feel successful because I have so many stories to tell and that makes me feel like I've really lived my life. I may not always be responsible and I may not have the savings I should have or the house and husband but what I do have is a story about repoing cars in one of the most dangerous areas of LA. I have a stories about strippers, drugs and massages. I have stories I made on the East coast, stories I made on the West coast, stories I made in the Southwest and stories I made in the Midwest. Some stories are hilarious, some degrading, some sad and some heartwarming.

All those stories, all those mistakes, all those milestones...they've all combined to make me feel satisfyingly accomplished. They make me feel like the only thing I haven't done is go home.

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